


"I don't want you to change"

by JordanDancerBoy



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bromance to Romance, Gwen Leaving, M/M, Past Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Series 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 17:49:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13059054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JordanDancerBoy/pseuds/JordanDancerBoy
Summary: Merlin attempts to serve Arthur as best as he can, but his budding feelings grow in to a problem. With Gwen's disappearance to start a life with Lancelot, is there a chance for the young Warlock's dreams to come true?Part of a series looking at Arthur's life without Gwen, and how Merlin's feelings for him could change their destinies.All rights remain with Merlin (TV) and the BBC, I'm just glad to be using them.





	"I don't want you to change"

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a scene from Season 2, Episode 4 "Lancelot and Guinevere", although the work is original.

The clearing the group had decided to rest in was illuminated by the full moon glistening above them. They had escaped Hengist’s Castle mere hours ago and they knew that the bandits would soon be swarming the woods, seeing who would claim Hengist’s place as commander of the lawless cohort. Regardless, the quartet had arrived at this place in the woods and decided to rest as Gwen was still injured and they all were weary from their endeavours. Arthur and Gwen had both gone to sleep quickly and Lancelot had wandered off to take the first watch of the night, although that had been much earlier before the true blackness of the evening had set in. Merlin’s breath roared like a dragon’s in front of him as it made contact with the cold night air. He stared up in to the stars which were dancing above him, and his mind thought back to Gwen’s words, still echoing inside his head. 

“Tell Arthur I love him and he will always be in my heart, but it could never be. There’s no way for a serving girl to marry a King. I will not hold him back from his destiny.” Destiny. Merlin thought how his and Arthur’s destinies were entwined and pondered how different their fates could be if he could just leave as Gwen had done. 

Gwen and Lancelot had both disappeared at the midnight hour as the forest had been still, except for the faintest call of crickets and creatures creeping in the darkness. Gwen had woken Merlin from his slumber whilst Lancelot saddled their horse. They were travelling to Mercia, with the hopes King Bayard would employ both of them – a knighthood for Lancelot, a castle maid for her, and Gwen had given Merlin a piece of her dress as a token to pass to Arthur when he awoke as a sign of her love for him. 

Merlin clutched the lilac cloth in his hand and squeezed it into a fist. Merlin looked over at Arthur’s form – wrapped in his cloak, a log for a pillow – gently rising and falling with each breath in the dull light of the dying fire. Merlin gazed into the amber mess and tried to see a vision of his future as he was told sorcerers of old were supposed to. Despite his best efforts, all he could see were images and memories of his and Arthur adventures together. He blinked and turned from the flames as the ash and smoke began to claw at his eyes. “There’s no way for a serving girl to marry a King. I will not hold him back from his destiny.” He wondered if he had the chance, would he abandon Arthur – could he turn his back on someone he loved simply because there would never be any hope for them? Tears began to trickle down his cheek, and Merlin scratched at his face with the sleeve of his rough tunic and decided it was the smoke causing the water in his eyes. He raised his hand to the flames. 

“Baerne” Merlin commanded and the flames roared, with the smoke climbing higher into the sky. The clearing exploded into a vibrant display of red, orange and yellow and roared with thunderous crackles and pops from the burning pool of firelight. Before Merlin realised what he’d done, Arthur had awoken with a start, clambering to his feet and drawing his sword, glancing around him at the opaque blackness beyond the edge of the clearing. Merlin stumbled up and moved to stand closer to him. 

“Arthur relax, it’s just me, I think I over cooked the fire.” Merlin informed him, looking back at the pool of flame that had begun to subside near him. Arthur sheathed his sword, but continued to look around. 

“Is Lancelot still on watch? Where’s Gwen?” He asked, wiping sleep from his eyes and trying to blink his eyes to focus. 

“They’ve,” Merlin began, but stopped himself. He took another step towards his friend and extended his hand towards him, the purple cloth still clutched within his grasp. Arthur looked at it bewildered and silent. Merlin continued, “they’ve gone. Lancelot and Guinevere. They took one of the horses and left a few hours ago. She wanted me to give you this.” Merlin said gesturing towards the cloth in his hand. Arthur took it hesitantly and examined it. He screwed it up in his palm and looked back at Merlin. 

“What do you mean they’ve gone? Where did they go?”

“Mercia.” Merlin answered, receiving more confused glances from Arthur, whose jaw opened and clenched, his mind racing with questions. “She said she loved you, but that she knew you two could never be together – her a servant and you a Prince.” Merlin informed him, taking another step towards his friend who slumped on to the ground. 

Merlin crouched down beside the knight who was propped up against the log he had previously used as a cushion. He was eyeing the crimson flames before him. Merlin gently rested his hand on his shoulder, and felt the prince relax slightly into his hold, although his face didn’t move from the blaze. Merlin moved himself so that his shoulders lined up besides Arthur’s, and their sides were pressed together, with the Knight’s body slackening as it allowed it’s weight to fall on to the young man. 

The pair remained in silence. Merlin examining Arthur’s unmoving features and Arthur gazing into the ruby brightness before him. His chest heaved with each breath and Merlin moved his hand to grip Arthur’s mailed gauntlet, which was clutched to his chest. However, as he touched the edge of the metal glove, Arthur’s body shivered in half-fright as he was suddenly reminded of his surroundings. Arthur recoiled his gauntlet and hurled its contents into the flames and watched as the fires cried for their new companion. Arthur stood back up, but this time it was Merlin who was left scrutinising the flames, and the thin indigo cloth which danced and pleaded as the red tongues lashed and blackened it into obscurity.


End file.
